What happens when Guy Ritchie-David Fincher combine come to India on a yellow Hummer?!

Well for there notorious ways of narrating a storyline, they would be lost in the topography-demography of India and may be that is why they aren’t thinking of coming over ,till then the reins are in hands of  Anurag Kashyap and his gang of men/women who want to change not only the rule of this game but possiblly change the game itself!

Shaitan is one such attempt which would take you deep in their minds and make you cringe more out of shock than disgust!

The first frame is like any thriller/horror story with a girl-kid walking into a asylum to meet her mother and that is the only scene where you might think and that’s about it from here on Bejoy Nambiar does not let you use your grey cell to think about anything  other than the movie.

The storyline is about a group of 5 strong headed youngsters from different socio economic background who have a philosophy to enjoy life to its fullest and they have the balls to do it as well!

KC: Rich-Happy-go-lucky-sonofabitch

Parsi: Middle class parsi nerd dhikra

Amy : Rich NRI dad -Psychokid

Dash: Barwaiter cum drug peddler

Model Chic: Low income but high aspiration club-small time model!

There life takes a turn when a “predictable-to-audience”  but unfortunate incident hits them or rather they hit it(Pun intended).

One foolish act leads to another and gives each one of them to unleash their inner shaitan on to unsuspecting victims.

Where there is crime there is a strong cop character,enter suspended-soon to be-divorced Inspector Mathur saab who has his own issues with the now famous inner-shaitan.

The scenes are insanely supported with some crazy music and background score one surely cannot  miss the high-end action sequence with background music of the olden melody Khoya Kohya Chand and yes one would just label it as an absolute masterpiece sequence.

The script is absolutely well written without any loopholes and does not feel like it is wandering off  even when the story diverts from the crime to the disturbed married life of Inspector Mathur.

Rajeev Khandelwal is a superstar in his own right and essays the character of Inspector Mathur with class and realism only an “actor-of-excellence” can potray.

The lead group cast play their respective roles with absolute brilliance.

The music is just to die for and the variety is a monster in it’s own way!

Each frame is a cult in its own sense and does more than just give you a cinematic experience

Start of a travelogue!

I have been assigned a project by French Connection and Calvin Klein Jeans for “retail evaluation" in tier II cities of India.

Here on this blog I wouldn’t be writing about my professional commitments but more of travelling experience in these cities!

Hope you enjoy the city (digitally) I visit as much I do them actually.

Nagpur

Date of entry: 17th March 2011

They say oranges are the reason why Nagpur is famous and all I say,I was there for 2 days and I could’nt locate a single fruit mart let alone oranges!

Anyways, the flight took off a bit delayed from Bombay but it was a nice flight whatsoever.I shared my seat with Mansi a final year student from Manipal Institute of Technology,the very Infamous college! ;)

We happen to share our lives with each other in that 30mins of chat(the other 90min,sleeping was a better option!)

The flight landed 30minutes late and yeah like all tier II city airports even this was 15km away from the main hub!

The taxi union was in full force with their atrocious demand for INR 300 for a 20min ride!Phew!

2min of drive and 18 minutes of traffic,I reach my hotel.

A 2 star stay was pretty good for a travelling maniac who can compromise with anything and everything!

After a quick fresh up and cleaning my pores,I leave for a walk around the city with my camera in hand and open thought in my head ….I walk around the city chowk..the “badkas chowk” and could see typical Indian store line up…a sweet shop doubling up as a restaurant and in the adjacent selling mobile recharges.

I get a call from my local frnachisee bidder who in all certainity wants to give me a memorable experience in Nagpur and in turn win some creamy chocolaty brownie points! ;)

He vrooms in a Skoda Laura and hands over a typical North Indian style Business card i.e. a card with details which were really not required and not to forget dash of colours!

So after a round of Lassi at the original “Haldiram” which I should say satisfied my entire calorie needs for the night and the day after!

After a bit of “Business talks”, we leave for our respective abode with a promise from his end to show me around the malls tomorrow morning!

With an intent of get in touch with my friends I net-connect my Vodafone-Blackberry on to my laptop and lo I get a shock of my life 20minutes later when I realise I have lost 400INR for no expense from my end!

Damn that ugly Pug!

With a heavy heart and chat with my inner circle, I sleep!!

Indian Women-1

Indian Women-1

Have you ever wondered how easily we behave differently in the same situation albeit different settings!

How convenient it is to break one’s own rule(s) and follow the convenient path when different situations beckon. This is all the more true for our devoted selfless “Bhartiya Nari”.

Let me connect the dots!

Most of the time, us guys meet this typical girl who is generally very caring (like all girls are) and is very considerate about many things around her but equally a little confused and doped about most of the things in life(like all girls are)!!

TRUE!

So, where is all this heading to??!

Let me narrate to you an instance which is a rather common phenomenon ........ 

And here we go.....

SCENE I

Here we were at the general vegetable marketplace where the vendors were old, poor, diseased, humble, simple, jovial, original men and women who were there to sell off their carefully nurtured, hard earned fruits and veggies which held in them the honest fragrance of their blood and sweat.

Looking at them (the vendors) you feel like a magician as though your one compliment  of  the crispness and freshness  of his fruits/veggies would make his day !(Well  the truth is ‘yes that can actually make his day!)

Now as a guy and like other guys out there I wouldn’t pick up a fight with a vegetable vendor for a rupee less or more! Give those poor souls a chance to tell you how much it takes for them to buy that dirty brown thing you call ‘compost’ from the village dealers and yes you are correct – it’s the same  thing which smells like shit!  Their ordeals also include the hassles of buying seeds either the “Monsanto” designed BT or regular government declared seeds and looking up in to the sky for that drop of water to pour in to the parched land! After all that hard toil and waiting and praying these poor souls get their produce to the market to make some money with which they would feed their family of more than a dozen..... and what do they get here in the city, a smart looking convent educated housewife who insists on telling you that she topped her semester exams and was elected CR for ‘n’ number of times and most importantly in this context thinks she knows what is the MSP!(For all the girls: Minimum Support Price)

True, makes your head wonder WHAT!!?? They seem to calculate it accordingly and traumatize the vendor to make them accept whatever they pay for their kilo of onions and tomatoes!

Blah!

SCENE II

A swanky restaurant in a posh locality with the smartest of waiters and the classiest of interiors and cutlery, looking at which for once you might really get intimidated at the lack of class in oneself.

With a proud overwhelming feeling the guy takes a seat and looks at, with hope towards the standing waiter to guide him through this expensive journey and in turn do his regular job!

The menu is read and sumptuous order is placed subsequently... the reality meanwhile is hitting your brain that regular dishes are being priced according to the ‘perceived value’ rather than the ‘actual value’!

Accepting the fact and a thought passes ones overwhelmed brain that "Food business is a money making business" one continues to enjoy the ambience and savour the music and wait with child like curiosity for the food. The food arrives and is served with magician’s polish and a dancers grace by the waiter to which your girl is amazed and gives a 1000W smile as you appreciate the whiff of the expensive dish.

After the final serving of the dessert with a coy smile the manager places the bill in front of the gentlemen. At that very moment it  really feels like inflation swelled up right between the time ones order was placed and the time the bill was made!

The gentlemen pays the bill and when is about to crash the bill book, he hears her squeal "How much did you tip them"?! And he looks at her with an expression of "I thought, that it was their job to serve us?!" ..... a small argument  ensues; where the gentleman being a true gentleman obviously loses. By the way that is not the end, he is also told about the unsaid rule of tipping the waiters 10% of the bill amount and to which one can only shout, crib and wail "RIDICULOUS".

So,

Do we notice the connect; the hypocritical nature of women today, they would think a hundred times before tossing that single rupee into that vegetable vendors hand but wouldn't mind throwing away that INR 100 for nothing!

Hail Her!

xxx

Ashish Pandey

PS: This piece of writeup does not specify authors feeling towards any particular gender and is just a random thought which came across his mind and has nothing against women of any country whatsoever and is actually partial towards eccentric Indian women!

Love them!

"Once upon a time in Mumbaai"-An Opinion!

Rajat Arora comes out with some juicy masala loaded writing in the clash between Haji Mastaan's daryadilli and Mr.D's ambition,now only if the spices were allowed to be marinated long enough,it would have been a well done recipe so without the above one feels there is something missing!

The story is very haphazardly written with main focus given to the look,feel and dialogue(s) which are forcibly inserted into the scene and the shots where silence could have played hero,Milan Luthria planned something else altogether.

 

The background score is really haunting and stays with you even after the movie is long over,now the only glitch is,it is not original and you feel miserable that it has been lifted from Black Strobe's "I'm a Man".

Ajay's performance stands out as the suave,composed robinhood an act he performed once not so long long ago in RGV's "Company",Emraan is the rebelious young gangster and he fits perfectly in the avatar only if he could polish his diciton skills,the ladies are a treat to watch and they remain so.A special mention should go to the eye candy Randeep Hooda who played the sutradhaar.

All said and done,Milan Luthria puts together a canvas which takes life a few decades back and amazes us with the look and feel thoug my dream of watching salim-javed written Yash Chopra directed don saga "DEEWAR" on big screen or something similar,still seems to be a distant dream.

In the age of "Shit &Sugar"(read:candy floss cinema),a brave attempt by a daredevil team(Balaji telefilms) esp after LSD,we need to look out for their next venture.

For me OUATIM is definetly worth a single watch.

My fav punches:

1."Aaj ka kaam kal pe choda toh aaj bura maan jayega" new age Kabir!

2."Life ho toh smuggler jaisi,duniya raakh jaise neeche aur tum dhuan jaise upar"

3."Himmat batayi nahi dikhayi jaati hai"

4."Raaste ka fikar kiya toh manzil bura maan jayegi"

5."Main woh kaam karta hun jiski ijaazat sarkar nahi deti woh kaam nahi jiski ijazat zameer nahi deti"

6."Dua mein yaad rakhna"

The original source score of "Once upon a time in Mumbai" background!

xxx

Ashish

RT...Nope not a retweet...but Random Thought! :D

Arrogance is not a mask but a reflection of your inner power!

xxx
Ashish

IPL 2010: 28th March:Deccan chargers V/S Mumbai Indians

It was an amazing atmosphere of brilliant cricket,the "God" was happy,he gave his disciple(Bhajji) his weapon too and then when the opposite "Demigod"(Gilly) had his turn ...he lost it...and i loved the complete masala around it...the only problem/hitch was i was on the "Demigod"z side waving the lone Charger flag for a redemption by the other commoners in the team,none of them stood against the "God and his Men"!!!May be the only +ve out of it was, for a min and more i was on TV for i was the few supporting a lost cause!!! Loyal ME!!! :d

An example of knowledge......

The actual thing is the fact that we keep adding "degrees" but no knowledge to the kitty....some how I have managed more knowledge from our "idiot box" than my textbooks(That xplains my 60+ score card)..It does not matter how much have you scored but what matters is when someone asks you a question like say..."Damn this bacterial infection i have got brother can you tell me what is this shit??"....and pat comes a learned reply..."Must be Staphlococcoi a heat resistant bacteria found in your nose so bloddy stop diggin your nose..." :)

lolzzz....iam sure we can come with more of it...will keep doing it!!!